After her husband attacked and killed her mother, an incident in which she herself was seriously injured, a Sudbury woman is asking her community for help sending her mother’s remains back to her home country of Nigeria.
Lydia Imie Ogbejiele and her sister, Esther Umoru, began a GoFundMe seeking $20,000. The campaign has currently raised just over $14,000. Their mother was visiting her daughter, Ogbejiele, when she was murdered.
Sudbury police reported it was just after midnight on July 2 when officers arrived on the scene and found 32-year-old Ogbejiele outside the residence with serious, but non-life-threatening injuries. She was transported to hospital by ambulance.
Her 63-year-old mother was still inside and had multiple stab wounds, said police. She was pronounced dead at the scene.
Ogbejiele’s two children were at home at the time, but not physically injured.
Lucky Ogbeliele, her husband, is facing charges of first-degree murder, attempted murder, possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose, forcible confinement and choking.
After fleeing the scene, the 36-year-old was found 12 hours later, just before 11:30 a.m. on July 2. Police report locating the man in a wooded area of Alder Street "with injuries that appeared to be self-inflicted."
Police said he was arrested and taken into custody without incident, and taken to hospital for his injuries. None of these allegations have been tested in court and the accused is considered innocent unless proven guilty.
In the GoFundMe, Ogbejiele describes the event as “a tragic and unthinkable incident” which resulted in the death of her mother, “who had come from overseas to visit and support me and my children. What was meant to be a joyful family visit turned into a heartbreaking nightmare that changed our lives forever,” she wrote.
She then detailed the alleged attack.
“When I returned from work, I saw my husband coming out of the house in his work uniform, going to work. He immediately turned back and followed me behind, and I opened the door and asked him if he was going to work. He answered that ‘he had resigned from his job,’ which I knew nothing about at that time.”
She wrote that she entered the house and he walked back in, following her and locking the door behind them.
“And then he started attacking me with a knife, trying to kill me by stabbing my stomach, neck, shoulder, hand and head multiple times,” Ogbejiele wrote. She escaped from her house, “struggling to survive,” but she didn’t hear or see her mother, she wrote. That’s because “he had already stabbed my mum multiple times.”
Ogbejiele wrote that in facing the grief of losing a mother in such a violent way, and still needing to parent her children amid her own traumatic injuries, she is reaching out to her community for help.
“My mother was a peaceful woman full of love and care for everyone. Her passing has shaken our entire family, especially my sisters, brother and my father, who are mourning her loss back home and hoping to see her laid to rest where she belongs” she wrote.
“I am doing my best to stay strong for my family; however, the costs involved in repatriating my mother's body are more than I can manage alone.”
Ogejiele is also a member of the Nigerian Community Association of Greater Sudbury and they, too, are extending the call to help her.
“We are deeply saddened by the recent tragic loss experienced by one of our own,” said a statement from the group.
“In this painful time, the bereaved family is faced with the overwhelming task of repatriating the remains of their loved one back home for a proper farewell.
“We are calling on everyone who is willing and able to extend a hand of support. Your financial contribution, no matter how small, can make a significant difference in helping the family through this difficult journey.”
Just days before the attack, the association held an education session for members; intimate partner violence has been deemed an epidemic in Sudbury, and the limitations to escaping that violence are significantly worsened for newcomers and visible minorities.
“Moving to a new country is a big transition. It comes with hope, but also with pressure,” begins a post on the Nigerian Association’s Facebook page.
It states that many newcomers face stress from job loss, culture shock, financial strain, “and the feeling of being alone,” and that over time, these struggles can weigh heavily on mental and emotional health.
“Some people come with dreams of a better life, only to feel lost, powerless, or even ashamed when things don’t go as planned. In trying to cope, some begin to lash out, especially at their loved ones. For men especially, who were taught to always be in control, it can feel like they’ve lost their place in the world,” the post reads.
“In our African communities, we sometimes carry unspoken rules from home that don’t work here. Some men feel disrespected because their partners are more independent. Some women feel silenced because they are afraid of being judged or abandoned. All of this tension can lead to serious conflict.”
But violence is never the solution, the post states.
“It’s a dangerous response to pain and pressure and when left unchecked, it ruins families and lives.”
The post calls for “honest conversations.”
“If you notice someone getting angry all the time, trying to control their partner, isolating themselves, or using culture to excuse their behaviour, please speak up, encourage them to get help,” reads the post. “Canada has resources for families, for men, for women and no one needs to suffer alone.
“Let’s take this seriously. Let’s create homes that are safe for everyone.”
You can find the GoFundMe here.
Jenny Lamothe covers vulnerable and marginalized populations, as well as housing issues and the justice system for Sudbury.com.